Procrastination, Paralysis, or Protection? Understanding the ADHD Freeze

You’ve likely been there. You know what needs to get done. Maybe it’s an email. Maybe it’s tidying the house, starting an assignment, or making a phone call you’ve put off for weeks.

And yet… you’re stuck. Not moving. Maybe scrolling. Maybe staring. And then the self-talk starts:
“Why am I like this?”
“Everyone else just gets on with it.”
“I’m so lazy.”

But here’s the truth—what looks like procrastination on the outside is often a protective response on the inside. Especially if you live with ADHD, anxiety, or other neurodivergent ways of processing the world, what you're experiencing is less about laziness and potentially more about overwhelm.

Your nervous system isn’t failing you. It’s doing what it thinks it needs to keep you safe. The problem is, it doesn’t always know the difference between a deadline and a tiger.

Let’s unpack a few strategies that can help when you feel paralysed—not by forcing productivity, but by working with how your brain actually operates.

1. Start So Small It’s Almost Ridiculous

When the task in front of you is vague or too big, your brain shuts down. “Write that report” or “Clean the whole kitchen” may as well be “Climb Everest.”

Instead, shrink the task to the tiniest possible action. Open the document. Name the file. Write one sentence—poorly. Put one dish in the sink.

Once you’ve started, you may find momentum builds. Or it may not. Either way, you’ve taken a step. That counts.

2. Don’t Go It Alone: Try a “Body Double”

A surprisingly effective strategy—especially for those with ADHD—is working alongside someone else. Not because they’re helping, but simply because they’re there.

Whether it’s a friend on a video call, a co-working space, or even sitting in a shared space with someone quietly nearby, the presence of another person can help regulate your nervous system and provide just enough gentle pressure to get going.

This approach is often called “body doubling,” and it’s less about accountability and more about connection and calm.

3. Time It (But Keep It Short)

When a task feels endless, starting feels pointless. So limit it. Set a timer for 5, 10, or 20 minutes. Tell yourself, “Let’s just do this much.”

This technique taps into something called the time horizon—how far into the future your brain can comfortably plan. Shortening the window helps tasks feel manageable, and it often tricks the brain into starting without triggering the alarm bells of overwhelm.

4. Lower the Bar—Deliberately

High standards often keep people stuck. If it can’t be done perfectly, the brain decides it’s not worth doing at all.

The antidote? Allow yourself to do it badly.

First drafts can be awful. Dishes don’t have to be all done. Emails don’t need the perfect tone. Start messy. Progress matters more than polish.

The saying I often share with clients: “Done is better than perfect.” Let that be your motto for a while.

5. Pair the Task with Something That Feels Good

Not every task can be transformed into something enjoyable—but we can change the experience around it.

This might look like:

• Folding laundry while listening to a favourite podcast

• Doing emails with a hot drink and music

• Wearing something soft and cosy while cleaning

If the task itself is neutral or boring, make the surrounding environment pleasant. Your brain is more likely to cooperate.

What to Keep in Mind

• You’re not broken.

• This isn’t about laziness or lack of motivation.

• These are real strategies rooted in how executive function and emotional regulation work.

And sometimes, despite all the tools, it’s still hard. That’s okay too.

Working with a psychologist can help unpack the patterns beneath chronic stuckness—whether it’s related to ADHD, trauma, anxiety, perfectionism, or all of the above. The goal isn’t to fix you, but to understand what’s going on and learn to work with your brain, not against it.

Struggling with getting started, even on the smallest things?
Therapy can help uncover the roots of that stuck feeling and offer strategies tailored to your nervous system. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it.